iseemorons

So as not to totally obliterate my faith in humanity I have to assume that a good majority of you are perfectly reasonable and intelligent people.  Why is it then that a sizeable portion of you go completely stupid the second a steering wheel is put in front of you?  I may be assuming way too much here but what is your mental process when every other driver on the road zips past you, most making rude gestures?  Since being stupid and being in denial is often one in the same I’m sure your tiny little mind has your common sense convinced that everyone else is driving too fast or recklessly.  Well maybe, just maybe it’s you and your crappy, self serving driving causing all the hub-bub.

We all have a responsibility not to be a stupid-ass during rush hour traffic.  To that end, keep up with the friggin’ car ahead of you.   It’s the long skinny one under your right foot, dumb-ass.   Also, you aren’t the only driver on the road so if you get through that light with a bit of urgency maybe more than one car can make it through behind you.    I realize that you have to shave or do your makeup or slurp that last bit of caramel macchiato out of the cup but if you’re not capable of doing these things without holding the rest of us up, get out of bed 15 minutes earlier and do it at home.    
I know this may offend some but if you are Hispanic and driving on a highway in the U.S.  there a few rules we like to adhere to.   First, the roads here are paved so you can go faster than 45 mph.  Second, that whole ‘left lane merges’ thing is not a personal invitation to wait until it’s completely gone and expect the rest of us to let you over.  Finally, and this is for everyone, if you have stationed yourself in the left lane on the highway and there is a car behind you, get the hell out of the way.  I don’t give a frog’s fat ass what the speed limit is, MOVE.