iseemorons

Like everyone else who isn’t stuck in 1985 I can’t imagine life without my cell phone and haven’t had a land line for 7 or 8 years.  Let me enlighten those of you that think the earth revolves around you though;  just because you have your phone everywhere you go doesn’t mean it’s cool to make or take a call everywhere you are. 

Particularly ridiculous and frankly, disgusting, are those of you who are on your phone while sitting on the toilet.  I’ve heard it in the men’s room and have it on good authority it happens in the ladies room just as often.  Why? You can’t wait 10 minutes to make a call?  Okay, 20 if you’re not feeling well.   Do you really need to be on the phone so badly that you can’t just do it when you’re done?  Let me speak for all us on the other end of that line; we will gladly wait to talk to you and we really, really don’t want hear those noises.  Ever.   

Another place to get the hell off your phone is when you are waiting in line at a public place like a bank or at the store.  You are annoying everyone around you and holding up the line.  Heaven forbid you actually engage the person waiting on you once it’s your turn.  Since you don’t come with a volume control or better yet a mute button it would be really nice if you would learn to distinguish between your outdoor and indoor voices.  This is another time and place where it would be great to be able to do one of those things we all think about but never do.  Like tapping that cellular-screamer ahead of you on the back of their extended knee and watching them crumple to the floor.

Keep your fingers crossed that the next time you’re in line somewhere that it’s a quieter place because one of those people who didn’t have the common courtesy to wait to make a call is sprawled out on the ground while their cell phone is sliding across the floor and someone with a smirk on their fact just got a better place in line.