Teeth suckers
Everyone gets food in their teeth; it’s just part of the deal. How that food is extricated is really what separates the rest of us from the Neanderthals. You gotta love the guy who thinks he can Hoover the crud from his teeth using his tongue while making that unbearably annoying sucking sound.
Only second to this guy is the stud who thinks a toothpick is a fashion statement. It’s difficult to tell if they are going for the straw hat/denim overall wearing Farmer Bob tending his chickens look or the bald gang-banger in a wife beater look? Either way, there’s a better way to go. Just once I’d like to see someone stumble and poke a pick through the roof of their mouth. I mean, you listened to your mom when she told you not to run with scissors so why in the hell would you put a pointy little stick in your mouth and walk around????
When did parents stop teaching kids to chew their food with their mouths shut? These must be the same kids that when concentrating really hard their mouths are drooped open and drool is dipping out. Like eyes spaced to close together and missing teeth, it’s a sure sign of heightened intelligence.
Also, I should never have to hear what you are eating. Ever. For that matter, see it either. Keep your mouth shut when you chew, talk when it’s empty and quit being a cow. I’m totally thrilled for you if you have coalesced a thought and you’re really excited to share it. Keep this in mind though. It would be wonderful if I could understand what you’re saying, you realized your food looked better before you ground it into pulp and that I’d rather not have my face sand blasted by the crap spewing from your mouth. Pretty sure I’m not alone in this.