iseemorons

Trucks come in all shapes and sizes.  There are long beds, short beds, tiny Matchbox sized trucks, huge ugly trucks with dual rear tires, trucks with toolboxes, utilitarian work trucks and countless others.  Then, in a class unto themselves, are the macho-penis-extenders.  These are the trucks that sit on 38” tires with tread so deep that small children can get stuck like toe-jam and the best method of entry is a personal workout trampoline.   The best way to avoid spending a month in traction is to exit via parachute or stripper pole.  Since there is some major over compensation going on the owners of these beasts must be sporting an oriental sized pecker or maybe just an enlarged clitoris. 

It’s really sad when you see a woman in one of these trucks because you know they got stuck driving it.  Their Suburban must be in the shop.  I have heard from numerous women that they like to “sit up high” when they dive.  Well, there’s sitting up high and then there’s titty hardon elevation change high.

The other type of pseudo-macho dudes are the ones that have pristine bed liners in their 2 year old trucks because they only thing they’ve ever had in it is a mattress and box springs when someone borrowed their vehicle to move.  They drive in the practiced pose that dictates one arm is resting on the window sill while steering with two fingers and a thumb, a cell phone trapped between their shoulder and ear and the other arm stretched across the top of the back of the seats. 

Makes one wonder what these guys are going to do when the production of these behemoths comes to a screeching halt in the next few years.   I guess we’ll see a horde of jacked up Toyota Prius’s sporting 38” knobbies racing around town.  The parking lot at Home Depot will never be the same.