lawsuits
The mayor of the real city of Batman — an oil-producing city in southeast Turkey — is reportedly suing “Dark Knight” director Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros., seeking royalties from this summer’s box-office blockbuster, according to Variety. In his lawsuit, Huseyin Kalkan, the pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman, is accusing Nolan and the studio of using the city’s name without permission. Wouldn’t you think that a mayor, even one in Podunk Turkey would have better things to do? Talk about wanting your 15 minutes. Maybe he’s just bitter that his country was named after feathered food with a beak.
An Arkansas man awaiting trial on murder charges has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the small portion size of prison meals has caused him to lose weight. Broderick Laswell claims that in the eight months he has been incarcerated, his weight has dropped from 413 pounds to a mere 308 pounds, and that "about an hour after each meal, my stomach starts to hurt and growl." Prison officials say Laswell, like all inmates, gets 3,000 calories a day, more than sufficient for a healthy adult male. Okay, Fat Boy, maybe losing 105 pounds isn’t the worst thing that could have happened to you in prison. Even at a delicate 308 lbs. the sight of that gargantuan bent over ass is still as much a turn-off to all your horny cellmates so you’re still safe from that butt pounding.
An Austrian man is demanding substantial damages after he was blasted off the toilet when hundreds of thousands of hail stones exploded out of it. Evidently Freak weather in Austria caused flooding and the hailstones backed up into the local drains.A red welt polka dotted ass is bad enough so hopefully this dude wasn’t too warm down there which could cause the ice stones to stick to his nut sack like a tongue on a cold pipe.