Fried, stretched and just plain sad
Most of us have done some pretty stupid stuff when drunk but putting anything that’s actually on fire in your ass crosses that line that even at your most shit-faced probably made that little blinking this-is-not-a-good-idea light go berserk in the back of your brain.
If I were this guy I don’t think I would sober up for a couple weeks because it’s REALLY gonna hurt.
Somebody is doing something wrong…..
If he lets go now he’s going to be shot into the zebra cage two pens over.
Unless you are Eric Foreman and already got your Donna, it’s best not to reference Star Wars into your love letters. This guy has mixed creepiness and geekyness in new and fabulous ways. Also, for future reference, saying you want to crawl up inside her isn’t necessarily the best route to getting some.