ass over tea kettle
Obviously my sole purpose with this website is to point out all the stupid I can. Well I guess I just lost immunity and may get voted off the island this past weekend. Some buddies and I went golfing and had a mishap of sorts. I rolled a golf cart. Okay, didn’t really roll it but once we stopped moving it was on its side. A buddy and I were coming up on a downhill hair-pin (and I mean hair-pin) turn and I started to slow down. My friend said “are you turning into a pussy”. Well as you know, blustering machismo will just not allow that kind of talk so I gunned it. Due to the initial slow down and the subsequent afterburn the governor did not kick in ensuring we reached maximum velocity at the beginning of the turn. I was hoping for a piece-of-crap-NOS’d-up-Honda-Civic drift around the corner but there was no understeer whatsoever to come to my rescue, the tires caught and slam-bam-thank you-ma’am.
We came to rest on the cement in a douche of vodka, dirt and water. We had just poured drinks and hadn’t even taken 3 sips so you can just quit thinking what you’re thinking. The turn was left handed so I got off easy and landed on my buddy. I rolled up off him as quick as possible but when I asked him if he was okay I got a “not sure” back which didn’t bode well since the red liquid pouring down the side of the cart roof was not Bloody Mary mix but blood from his head.
A thorough clean up of the cart and a covert drop off before getting back to the pro shop got us off the hook of paying for the gouge on the cart roof which amazingly was the only damage the cart sustained. A well rehearsed lie, a trip to urgent car and 4 staples in the noggin later the gash on my friends head was closed and we were back on the course playing more golf which merits official super trooper status. Now that’s when the drinking started. Ironically one of the other guys we were playing with got a hole-in-one 4 holes later and we missed it which means it really didn’t happen regardless how many people saw it or what they say. Sucks to be him.
The moral of the story? Don’t call your buddy a pussy I think. That’s what I got out of it anyway.