iseemorons

It’s heartening to know that these types of loons are not limited just to the U.S.  An Australian man was noticed acting suspiciously in his car and when the police tried to apprehend him he pulled away and led them on a slow speed 10 minute chase.  When he finally stopped the vehicle, he refused to exit the car and officers used batons and spray to remove him.  They found pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier in the car.  In addition and best of all his schlong was in a jar of pasta sauce.  As police tried to restrain him he continued to work the old bald headed giggle-stick between bouts of cop-wrestling.  In the end, he said the reason he resisted was that he was trying to make himself decent.

Well, first of all “decent” has flown out the window a long time ago.  Next, what the hell was he doing in his car?  Were all the rest stop stalls taken?  Pornography?  Duh, a man can’t jack by pasta jar alone.  Also, you gotta think that the dog might have been along for more than canine company.   After all they like pasta sauce too, if you get my meaning (lap-a, lap-a, lap-a).  Finally I sure hope the jar was there as a catch-all since cleaning dust out of a car’s A/C vents is heard enough.

Good thing the man kept his chase speed under 20 mph since a high speed wreck would have facilitated an entirely different headline; “A red terrier was found stuck to the head liner of an Australian man’s car by some white sticky substance and the driver was found with a pair of panties around one ear and a home-made man-rammer carved out of a cucumber stuck in the other while the decapitated head of his penis was found in an empty pasta jar two blocks over”.